78. 17. 6. Many libertarians--such as us--praise Carlin for his intelligent social criticisms and contributions to a countercultural ethos that perpetually challenges political orthodoxy. It's always people who've told us to live together in harmony and try to love one another. Dont give your money to the church. If youre born in America you get a front row seat. ~ (George Carlin). The planet is fine. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? It creates a hostile work environment. 20. 39. Somebodys wasting their fucking time. Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. 2. George Carlin Quotes The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. The people are f***ed. I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no "I" in team.' And why would it be America out of all the countries? They're all in favor of the unborn. We think in language. [3], Carlin was equally hard on politics as he was on religion. He said: Once you leave the womb, conservatives dont care ", "Catholics and other Christians are against abortions and they're against homosexuality. 69. TOP 25 QUOTES BY GEORGE CARLIN (of 976) | A-Z Quotes quotes '", "When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. Not only do I not know whats going on, I wouldnt know what to do about it if I did. ~ (George Carlin). Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. I just dont have as many people who believe it. Everybodys at the mall scratching his ass, picking his nose, taking out his credit card out of a fannie-pack, and buying a pair of sneakers with lights in them. I have as much authority as the Pope. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on metheyre cramming for their final exam. Apparently, we're not ready for that., "The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done. He often spoke about his youth in Catholic school and, as a result of his particular schools relatively liberal approach to education, he says, he was given the intellectual freedom to eventually reject the faith. All rights reserved. Im not sure thats the way to fight discrimination. An idle mind is the devils workshop. And the devils name is Alzheimers. ~ (George Carlin). Enjoy! "Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of 'em are stupider than that. No nothing. The Catholic Church alone could wipe out the national debt if all you did was tax their real estate. Some people see things that are, and ask, why? 125 Best George Carlin Quotes on Life - Parade It will not be with jack-boots. Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. Carlin was at his best talking about America's broken political system, summing up the anger, resentment and frustration felt by much of the population who knew something was wrong but could not express it. Carlin did this better than anyone else. Why? They've got the judges in their back pockets. Read these short quotes by the renowned comedian to make you smile while seeing things from a different perspective. 59. Electricity is really just organized lighting. ~ (George Carlin). 28. Garbage out. Surround yourself with what you love. ~ (George Carlin). Anthony Hopkins is a pantheist-Catholic-agnostic who believes strongly in God. artists, quotes by a single personality. I on the other hand, who did not vote, WHO DID NOT VOTE. 70. Because he likes our National Anthem? 5. Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. I had an imaginary friend I didnt bother with him. ~ (George Carlin). There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot. ~ (George Carlin). And secondly, I dont vote cause I believe if you vote, you have no right to complain. Fascism won it. Cocked, locked, and ready-to-rock. -- "Dance for yourself. George Carlin Quotes It will not be with jack-boots. America prays for God to destroy our enemies. Nobody owns anything. Unlikely_Let2616 29 min. Swimming is not a sport. You wouldn't say I'm proud to be 5'11"; I'm proud to have a pre-disposition for colon cancer., "Here's a bumper sticker I'd like to see.We are the proud parents of a child who has resisted his teachers' attempts to break his spirit and bend him to the will of his corporate masters. I don't trust none of them. And they own all the big media companies, so that they control just about all of the news and information you hear. George Carlin Quotes on Politics - LiveAbout WebFamous Quotes by George Carlin about Politics. If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like everybody else. Indeed, George Carlin was in a class of his own, however this would only be half the story. Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. So we are going to have to do lots of things different as a Black community," Ice Cube said in a video shared on Twitter on October 11. We could see through the hypocracy and illogic of our parents and teachers, but because of our age and size we couldn't do anything about it. Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. So maybe maybe MAYBE, its not the politicians who suck. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. You can find out more about our use, change your default settings, and withdraw your consent at any time with effect for the future by visiting Cookies Settings, which can also be found in the footer of the site. Why isn't selling fucking legal?". Now it's the zombie liberal.They say politics makes strange bedfellows--because today, the first amendment is under attack from people on the right and the left. The legendary George Carlin reminded us to think deeply but to make sure we take time to laugh and never take ourselves too seriously. I just dont have as many people who believe it. "I'm completely in favor of the separation of Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now its trying to save its body. ~ (George Carlin). Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. What if there were no hypothetical questions? ~ (George Carlin). Never let the brain idle. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders. Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist. ~ (George Carlin). Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice? [5], Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. 125 George Carlin Quotes 1. When you're born into this world, you're given a ticket to the freak show. 2. You show me a tropical fruit and Ill show you a cocksucker from Guatemala. ~ (George Carlin). George Carlin was a stand-up comedian, actor, social critic, and author. 32. Im completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. Ice Cube may be engaging in a political kerfuffle with Democrats following the news of his latest partnership with President Donald Trump's administration for the "Platinum Plan," but the rapper and actor is keen on letting his fans and followers know that he is not necessarily banding together with the government, despite what the past week of headlines might suggest. A close adviser to President [], Led Zeppelin is probably the most epic rock band of all time. 100. And far from staying to the safer path, he leapt time and again past the cliff of common wisdom, in the hopes of rattling us into questioning the way we live. quotes Garbage out. Why would God have a favorite country? Here is a selection of Carlins quotes that criticize the political system of our days. George Carlin Laugh until you gasp for breath. Its because volunteers work for no pay. If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely? Why would he do that? I'm talking about the real owners, now. 94. When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. 54. Thats why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. ~ (George Carlin). Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. Then they think you are just fine, just what they've been looking for. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. 16. Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? 67. This is what we have to offer. ", "Have you ever wondered whyRepublicansare so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? Montclair State University Digital Commons As a lifelong stand-up comedian, Carlin had a lot of opportunities to speak his mindand religion and politics were two of his favorite subjects. He Was Fatally Beaten by Memphis Police Now People Around the World Are Sharing #SunsetsForTyre in His Honor, 41 Daughter Quotes That Will Touch and Melt Your Heart, Monday Motivation: 36 Powerful Quotes to Jump-Start the Beginning of Your Week, 20 Most Inspiring Martin Luther King Jr. Never argue with an idiot. Maybe its because he heard we have 18 delicious flavors of Classic Rice-A-Roni! But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. Pro-lifethese people aren't pro-life, they're killing doctors! Though Carlin criticized the Libertarian Party (sorry fellow libertarians), his rebellion against the status quo and political tyranny encompassed the libertarian attitude and spirit. Its what our system produces: Garbage in. Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? ~ (George Carlin). Try spelling Evian backward. ~ (George Carlin). They made questioners out of us and they really didnt have any answers. April 20, 2023, by Libertarian Country It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. 33. 45. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. 84. 105. You don't. The future will soon be a thing of the past. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me theyre cramming for their final exam. ~ (George Carlin). Pro-life, you don't see many of these anti-abortion women volunteering to have any Black fetuses transplanted into their uteruses, do you? "Hmm? Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. 87 Best George Carlin Quotes On Education, Politics & Life 'Cause pretty soon they have little hats. There are, at least, some points we can all agree on. Quotes, 60 Confidence Quotes to Help You Understand Your Self-Worth, Golfer Tattoos His Dads Advice on His Arm How Those Last Words Help Him Focus, Time Flies: 29 Couples and Families That Mastered the Art of Recreating Old Photos, This Couple Bought and Revamped an Abandoned Laundromat Now Its a Thriving Community Hub With Free Laundry Days, Woman Buys 3-Year-Old a New Bike After She Finds Out His Was Stolen Only Later Does Everyone Find Out Her Real Story. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. ~ (George Carlin). Craziest Republican Quotes of the 21st Century, Best Anti-Gun Jokes and One-Liners About Gun Control, Funny Arnold Schwarzenegger Quotes as Actor and Politician. Something is definitely wrong. If at first you dont succeed, redefine success. ~ (George Carlin). Some national parks have long waiting lists for. WebGeorge Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. But once youre born, youre on your own. Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. ~ (George Carlin). 48. The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. Quotes Manage Settings Who in fact did not even leave the house on election-day, am in no way responsible for what these people have done, and have every RIGHT to complain as loud as I want, about the mess YOU created, that I had nothing to do with. 95. I dont get all choked up about yellow ribbons and American flags. The future will soon be a thing of the past. ~ (George Carlin). No, that might be something Christ would do! Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a f**k about them. Everything He ever makesdies. Religion is like a pair of shoes Find one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. ~ (George Carlin). Several reasons. Weve added years to life, not life to years. They don't like women. It will not be with jack-boots. Gov Greg Abbott is using the border crisis to hurt Black-run, Media Matters bombshell: Tucker Carlson caught slamming streaming service Fox Nation, Donald Trump to participate in a CNN presidential town hall next week, Hillary Clinton shares a graph to slam Trump on natl debt & gets help finishing it, See if you can figure out what President Joe Biden is doing in this clip, Charles Payne spots yet another reason to ban congressional stock trading ASAP, NBC News Ben Collins is sick and tired of editorial boards not talking to actual reporters like, CNN asks why SO many of us are unhappy with the country and THIS is why we cant have nice things, Group that went to bat for UVA hate crime hoaxer rages at right-wing media for telling the, Here's the Montana state rep who'd rather her daughter commit suicide than transition, ABC News: LGBTQ+ lawmakers finding themselves fighting literally just 'to exist', Antony Blinken too busy to say if he accepts that Hunter Biden's laptop was not disinformation, California Do Not Sell My Personal Information, George Carlin wouldnt even want to be claimed as your partisan hero and if that offends you his legacy lives on. Born in New York in 1937, George Carlin was an American comic icon, actor, social critic, and author. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. Fuck hope. Could it be everyone? You get up, you go to work, you eat three meals, you take one good s**t, and you go back to bed. One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. Our carefully collected [], Mary Astell (12 November 1666 11 May 1731), considered the first English Feminist, is a philosopher that has been [], Rappers are known for their high self-confidence. The middle class pays all of the taxes, does all of the work. Dont just teach your children to read Teach your children to question what they read, teach them to question everything. He said: Once you leave the womb, conservatives dont care about you until you reach military age. The following statement is true. The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language. ~ (George Carlin). Theres a humorous side to every situation. We think in language. Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. March 24, 2023. Do these people honestly think that God is sitting around picking out his favorites? Animals are completely innocent. Whether we agreed with his acerbiccommentary or not, his words always reminded us of how sharp a weapon humor can be in slicing through the surface of our assumptions and leaving us, as he would say, gasping for breath.. Thats the only thing keeping it and expanding it wherever possible. 21 George Carlin Quotes On Government And Politics Theres no present. The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. It will be a lot of fun. ", "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed. In his 50-year career as one of Americas most poignant and provocative social critics, the irreverent actor, author and comedian left no sacred cow unsinged as he took to lobbing one grenade after the next into the comfort zones of American life. Someone outside the circle, looking in. ", If you can't beat them, arrange to havethem beaten., Laugh often, long, and loud. George Carlin Featured in: George Carlin Quotes Political correctness is fascism pretending to be manners. George Carlin George Carlin Quotes 500 WALLPAPERS 8,907 POINTS Seneca Quotes by Libertarian Country Web421 quotes from George Carlin: 'The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers. ~ (George Carlin). Some people see things that are and ask, Why? If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? 8. When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. God has. The upper class keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. 9. No neonatal care, no day care, no Head Start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. International Dance Day 2023: WhatsApp messages, wishes, Leave these f**king people alone for Christ's sake. 58. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. This is what we have to offer. 47. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning. ~ (George Carlin). Governments dont want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation. ~ (George Carlin). They own everything," the quote reads. Perhaps those who can really claim him as one of their own are the commoners, we the people, caught in the chaos. I dont vote. If you vote, and you elect dishonest, incompetent people, and they get into office and screw everything up, well you are responsible for what they have done, YOU caused the problem, you voted them in, you have no right to complain. Language is the landscape of thought. ~ (George Carlin). I dont vote. If he were working today theyd call him a right-wing conspiracy theorist. If God is all powerful, can He make a stone so big that He Himself cant lift it? ~ (George Carlin). 71. One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. Im not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech. Im happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in. George Carlin Quotes And a I think that speaks for itself. Instead of division let's have a laugh about what we share in common. Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bullshit they teach you in school. George Carlin quotes about politics. 77. The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. When you visit the site, Dotdash Meredith and its partners may store or retrieve information on your browser, mostly in the form of cookies. Weather forecast for tonight: dark. I put a dollar in a change machine. Its perfect. 62. Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. ~ (George Carlin). 30 Best George Carlin Quotes - YouTube
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